Queer-Affirming Therapy in San Francisco: Finding the Right Fit for You

For queer and trans people, finding a therapist who truly gets it can make all the difference.

“LGBTQ-friendly” is a phrase you see on countless therapist directories — but affirming therapy is about much more than friendliness or open-mindedness. It’s about understanding the lived realities of queer and trans life — from identity formation and systemic harm to the subtle ways shame and hypervigilance live in the body.

At Stillpoint Therapy Collective, therapy centers authenticity, embodiment, and connection. Affirming therapy isn’t just inclusive, it’s actively supportive. It means your therapist is aware of how power, privilege, and trauma intersect with identity, and is committed to helping you feel more at home in yourself.

What to Look for in an Affirming Therapist

When you’re seeking a queer-affirming therapist, look for more than rainbow flags or a line in a bio.
Here are a few green flags that signal true competence and care:

• Lived or deep experiential understanding of LGBTQ+ identities, including awareness of systemic and relational trauma.

• Curiosity over assumption — a therapist who asks, listens, and adjusts their language and framework to fit your experience.

• Ongoing self-education about gender, sexuality, and intersectionality, not a one-time training.

• Embodied awareness — an understanding that oppression and belonging live in the body, not just in thoughts.

• Accountability — a therapist who welcomes feedback and repair when harm happens.

Affirming therapy is about creating a space where all parts of you are welcome — not just the ones that feel “safe” to share.

What to Look for on a Therapist’s Website

You can often tell a lot about a therapist’s values and comfort level with queer and trans clients by the tone and content of their website.

Here’s what to look for:

• Inclusive language that mentions LGBTQ+, queer, trans, or nonbinary identities explicitly — not vaguely.

• Diverse imagery and representation, rather than stock photos that only reflect heteronormative couples or families.

• Affirming statements about safety, intersectionality, and belonging woven throughout the site — not buried at the bottom.

• Ease of connection — look for a free consultation link, clear next steps, and a tone that feels invitational rather than clinical.

If you feel a sense of warmth, curiosity, and possibility while reading, that’s a good sign! Your nervous system is already responding to what feels safe.

What to Ask During a Consultation Call

Consultation calls are a great opportunity to learn more… not just about a therapist’s skills, but about how it feels to be in relationship with them.

Here are a few questions to guide you:

• “How do you approach working with queer and trans clients?”

• “Can you share examples of how you create an affirming or identity-safe space?”

• “What kinds of training or experience do you have around LGBTQ+ issues or trauma?”

• “How do you handle it if a client gives you feedback or points out something that didn’t feel affirming?”

• “Do you work with clients navigating intersectional identities (like race, disability, or religion) within queer experience?”

You don’t need to sound polished or professional, you’re allowed to simply ask what you need to feel safe. If the therapist responds with openness and humility, that’s a good sign you’ll be supported in the work.

✨ Meet the Therapists

• David De Lancelloti, APCC provides trauma-informed, somatic therapy for LGBTQ+ clients. He helps people understand how early wounds or relational trauma shape their sense of safety, trust, and belonging in both self and relationship.

• Bayley Azevedo, AMFT works with queer and nonbinary individuals and couples, helping them navigate communication, identity, and connection with humor, warmth, and deep respect for each person’s lived experience.

• Annie Patyk, AMFT supports clients navigating perfectionism, identity exploration, and chronic self-doubt. She helps LGBTQ+ clients cultivate inner safety and ease through relational and somatic awareness.

• Michael Boykin, AMFT offers affirming therapy for LGBTQ+ clients, focusing on self-acceptance, authenticity, and healing from systems of oppression. His approach blends curiosity, presence, and cultural humility.

You deserve therapy that sees and supports all of who you are. Whether you’re exploring identity, navigating relationships, or healing from trauma, our affirming therapists are here to walk alongside you.

Learn more about LGBTQ+ Therapy or Meet Our Team, and book a free consultation call to be matched with a therapist who feels like the right fit for you.

• What makes therapy “affirming”?

  Affirming therapy validates your identity, centers your lived experience, and actively challenges internalized shame. It moves beyond tolerance to genuine understanding and respect.

• How is affirming therapy different from LGBTQ-friendly therapy?

  “Friendly” means accepting. “Affirming” means informed, reflective, and engaged in the work of supporting queer and trans people through an intersectional, trauma-aware lens.

• Do I have to talk about gender or sexuality in affirming therapy?

  Not unless you want to. Affirming therapy supports you as a whole person — whether you come to process identity, trauma, anxiety, or relationships.

• How can I tell if a therapist is affirming during a consultation?

  Notice how they respond to your questions, whether they use inclusive language, and if they make you feel seen without explanation. Affirming therapists will meet curiosity with care, not defensiveness.

• Are lgbtq-affirming therapists available in San Francisco and online?

  Yes. Stillpoint offers both in-person sessions in San Francisco and virtual therapy throughout California, so you can access affirming care wherever you are.