7 San Francisco LGBTQ+ Couples Therapists [No Waitlist]
Navigating a relationship can be hard enough at times, and finding a therapist who truly understands and affirms your relationship can be a whole other challenge.
At Stillpoint Therapy Collective, our San Francisco queer couples therapists are proud to specialize in supporting LGBTQ+ couples through both the issues that are universal in relationships and the specific nuances of queer relationships.
Do We Really Need Queer Couples Therapy?
Queer couples often face unique joys and challenges that traditional couples therapy may not always account for. You might be navigating:
Family or cultural pressures around your relationship
Coming out or identity exploration within your partnership
Differences in gender identity, sexuality, or transition
Polyamory, open relationships, or non-traditional partnerships
The stress of living in a world that isn’t always affirming
At the same time, queer couples also experience many of the same struggles all relationships face, such as:
Communication struggles or recurring conflict
Feeling disconnected or distant from your partner
Navigating big life transitions — moving in together, marriage, parenthood, or career changes
Exploring how to strengthen intimacy, trust, or a shared vision for the future
Queer couples therapy provides a space where your relationship doesn’t need to be explained or defended — it’s understood and celebrated. Together, we work on both the universal challenges of being in relationship and the specific experiences of queer partnerships.
“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships.”
Esther Perel
Jump to a therapist
By identity:
Queer therapists: Callista Cox, Kara Sunwell, Bayley Azevedo, Ellen Ottman, Amy Toig, Sarah Johnson
Gay therapists: Ellen Ottman, Amy Toig
Lesbian therapists: Ellen Ottman, Amy Toig, Sarah Johnson
Non-binary and/or genderqueer therapists: Callista Cox, Sarah Johnson
By focus area:
Amber Godwin: Good fit for couples interested in somatic therapy
Callista Cox: Good fit for neurodivergent queer couples
Kara Sunwell: Good fit for polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships
Bayley Azevedo: Good fit for queer couples navigating intimacy and sexual trauma
Ellen Ottman: Good fit for couples healing from relational trauma
Amy Toig: Good fit for couples dealing with chronic illness or identity transitions
Sarah Johnson: Good fit for couples healing from religious trauma or coming out later in life
Meet our San Francisco queer couples therapists
Amber Godwin
Good fit for couples interested in somatic therapy
Amber brings something truly unique to relationship work in the way that she integrates the evidence-based Gottman Method for couples therapy with Somatic Experiencing. This unique lens offers couples the emotional tools to strengthen communication and connection alongside the body-based support to help each partner feel regulated enough to actually use them. For couples where stress, anxiety, or unresolved trauma keeps derailing connection, Amber's approach addresses the root, not just the surface.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #144905
Specialty Areas: Couples, somatic therapy, trauma, anxiety, stress, nervous system regulation
Callista Cox
Good fit for neurodivergent queer couples
Callista is one of the few San Francisco therapists who explicitly centers neurodivergent folks in their couples work, bringing a warm, non-pathologizing lens to relationships where one or both partners experience the world differently. For couples who have felt misunderstood or "too much" in other therapeutic spaces, Callisa offers an affirming environment where all the ways you think, feel, and relate are genuinely welcomed.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #141253
Specialty Areas: Couples, polyamory and consensual non-monogamy, LGBTQIA+ and gender-diverse community, disability and chronically ill community, caregiver burnout, grief and loss, stress, depression, suicidal thoughts
Kara Sunwell
Good fit for polyamorous or non-monogamous relationships
While traditional couples therapy tends to be centered around monogamous relationships between two people, Kara is passionate about creating a space where all partnerships are supported and celebrated. For couples with complex identities and relationship structures, Kara brings clinical depth and authentic affirmation that is hard to find elsewhere.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #149166
Specialty Areas: Couples, neurodiversity, Highly Sensitive People, women’s issues, creatives, entrepreneurs, anxiety, grief, sexuality, self-esteem, trauma
Bayley Azevedo
Good fit for queer couples navigating intimacy and sexual trauma
Bayley specializes in LGBTQIA+ couples navigating the intersection of intimacy, sexual trauma, and communication. As a queer woman herself, she brings authentic affirmation to every session, using a psychodynamic and trauma-informed approach to help partners move from disconnection to genuine closeness. For couples who want a therapist who is deeply affirming and sex-positive without shying away from the hard stuff, Bayley stands out.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #140730
Specialty Areas: Couples and relationships, LGBTQIA+, intimacy, sexual trauma, communication, anxiety, depression, self-esteem, burnout and stress
Ellen Ottman
Good fit for couples healing from relational trauma
As the founder of Stillpoint Therapy Collective and a queer person herself, Ellen has built one of San Francisco’s most intentionally queer-affirming practices. She also brings over a decade of experience as a trauma therapist, with advanced training in trauma-focused methods like Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, Brainspotting, and Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy. For couples where one or both partners carry trauma that keeps showing up in the relationship, Ellen's relational, body-based approach offers long-awaited relief.
Credentials: Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #124702
Specialty Areas: Couples, polyamory and consensual non-monogamy, LGBTQIA+, trauma, anxiety, depression, grief and loss, burnout and stress, chronic pain, identity exploration, life transitions
Amy Toig
Good fit for couples dealing with chronic illness or identity transitions
Amy is one of the few Bay Area therapists who specializes in supporting couples where chronic illness or chronic pain is part of the picture. Her integrative approach creates space for both the person living with illness and their partner to feel seen, moving at a pace that honors physical and emotional limits. For LGBTQ+ couples who want a therapist who understands that chronic illness doesn't just affect one person in the relationship, Amy is an excellent match.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #147414
Specialty Areas: Couples, LGBTQIA+, chronic illness and chronic pain, anxiety, depression, trauma, burnout and stress, identity exploration, life transitions
Sarah Johnson
Good fit for couples healing from religious trauma or coming out later in life
Sarah is a queer therapist with lived experience of religious trauma, making her an exceptionally rare and affirming choice for couples navigating the aftermath of high-control religion, family rejection, or late-in-life coming out. They work from a Gestalt and somatic foundation, bringing present-moment awareness to the relational patterns (people-pleasing, self-erasure, fear of conflict) that religious and cultural conditioning often contribute to.
Credentials: Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #160318
Specialty Areas: Couples, LGBTQIA+ and gender-expansive community, religious trauma, somatic therapy, people-pleasing, body image and eating patterns
What sets us apart from other San Francisco LGBTQ+ couples counseling providers
LGBTQIA+ affirming therapists with lived experience and extensive training
Specialized care for queer, trans, and non-traditional partnerships
Accessible therapy both online across California and in-person in San Francisco & Los Angeles
Relational focus that balances care for the partnership and each individual
What to expect from the therapy process
Step 1: Free 15-minute consultation
You'll connect with your chosen therapist for a brief call to discuss what's bringing you in, ask any questions, and get a feel for fit before you commit to the process.
Step 2: Your first session together
In your first full session, your therapist will get to know both of you more in-depth, so the work ahead is shaped around your specific dynamic.
Step 3: Ongoing weekly sessions
Most couples meet weekly for 50-minute sessions. Your therapist will tailor the approach to your needs, introducing tools, tracking patterns, and adjusting the pace based on how you're both feeling.
Step 4: Progress check-ins and next steps
Your therapist will check in regularly to make sure the work feels useful and aligned with your goals and will support you in deciding when you've reached a natural stopping point or want to continue deeper work.
FAQs about LGBTQ+ couples therapy
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Queer couples therapy may be supportive if you’re hoping to:
Strengthen communication and connection
Heal from conflict, betrayal, or past trauma
Explore identity and transitions together
Build intimacy and trust
Navigate open relationships or polyamory with respect and clarity
Create a partnership that feels authentic and sustainable
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At Stillpoint, we bring a trauma-informed, somatic, and relational lens to couples work. That means:
Affirming care: honoring every partner’s gender, sexuality, and identity
Trauma-informed care for healing from betrayal, loss, or past wounds
Relational depth: exploring patterns that keep you stuck and building skills for trust, repair, and intimacy
Communication tools and conflict-resolution strategies
Non-judgment: space for your relationship to look exactly the way you define it — monogamous, non-monogamous, queer, trans, fluid, or still unfolding
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Yes. Several members of our team personally identify as LGBTQ+, including our founder, Ellen Ottman. Stillpoint Therapy Collective was built to be affirming from the inside out, by people who understand queer experiences firsthand and bring that understanding into every session.
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Couples therapy is sometimes covered by insurance, but it depends on your specific plan. Stillpoint Therapy Collective is out-of-network with all insurance providers. However, most of our therapists can provide a superbill after each session, which you can submit to your insurance company for potential out-of-network reimbursement. We recommend checking with your provider about your specific benefits.
Relationships Can Be Hard, But You Don’t Have To Figure It All Out On Your Own
Your relationship deserves support, care, and affirmation. With the right tools and space, healing and growth are possible.
Start your journey with couples therapy today. We have in person therapy options in SF, or virtual sessions available.